A Light in the Long Darkness
by ShinMarsDragon
Summary: It was the loudest and most excited Christmas the Branstein family house had seen in years. Possibly ever.


"Oi, Leona! Where'd you put the flour? Ratsel says it ain't in the usual place!"

"It IS in the usual place! Lower cupboard, second shelf from the bottom! I put it there myself!"

"Leona, why don't you go over and check? It's right through here..."

"Don't think I'll fall for something like that, Tasuku."

"Aww..."

It was the loudest and most excited Christmas the Branstein family house had seen in years. Possibly ever.

Rai couldn't really remember what it had been like before mom and Leona's parents had died; his earliest Christmases were small and strained, with few presents and treats, hasty decorations, and Elzam desperately trying to pretend that was just what Christmas was like. If they were lucky, dad would come home on Christmas Eve and stay until lunch the next day, even if all he'd do would be sit on the couch and sip his drinks. It had gotten better when Cattleya had come into the family and dad had started coming home more often, but even then Branstein Christmases were solemn, quiet affairs.

And then Leona had gotten the bright idea to have both of them invite their teams to a nice week-long vacation at home over Christmas. And by some strange miracle they'd all gotten leave. And by some even stranger twist of fate his brother had found out and decided to join in.

The final result was eleven people making merry at once, and while that didn't sound like much when it was added up, the cold calculations completely failed to account for Katina. Or Ryusei. Or god forbid Tasuku, who had taken it as his god-given mission to catch Leona under the mistletoe. He'd been at it for three days straight now and showed no signs of giving up, just as Leona showed no signs of giving in. By now it had to be a matter of pride for both of them.

Which was why Rai was sitting quietly on the couch, sipping mulled wine and watching the tree's - an actual tree, a real formerly-living tree from Earth, he still couldn't quite believe his brother had done it - lights blink and glow. He wasn't much good at parties, and as long as no one was bleeding on the nativity set he considered his duties as a host complete. Someone else could worry about things for a change, Rai was going to sit back and enjoy not being shot at.

Which of course was when Mai jumped onto the couch next to him and dumped something on his head with a cry of "Merry Christmas!"

Rai very carefully did not react. He reached up, pulled the object off and gave it a long, flat look. An ordinary Santa hat.

"Ryusei said people wear these for Christmas," Mai said, a bit more hesitant than a few seconds ago. "So I got you one! Aya and Ryusei too." She bit her lip. "Do you like it?"

Rai smiled. "It's cute," he replied. This was Mai's first proper Christmas outside the Far East Base and she was filled with a childlike wonder about the entire thing, from the tree to cookies, shopping, and Santa. Rai wasn't going to be the one to ruin it. He put the hat back on his head, with some adjustments to make sure it would stay. "You should get Major Sanger one too."

"Rai," Captain Aya chided from her spot behind Mai, "don't set up the Major like that." Her own Santa hat was perched jauntily on her head, and contrasted with her hair in a very seasonal and festive way.

"Of course not. He wouldn't wear it anyway." His brother might. A few years ago Rai would've laughed at anyone who suggested it, but he couldn't predict Ratsel Feinschmecker like he could Elzam. It was an odd feeling.

Mai, satisfied with the reception of her gift, had sat back on the couch and was watching the tree. "It's so pretty...you do this every year?"

"Not lately," Rai said. "We've all been busy with the war...this is the first time I've been home in years, same for Leona." There was still a small pang every time he thought about the last time he'd been home, one he'd been steadily ignoring since he came. That was in the past. "We never had quite so many people around, either."

"I'll bet not!" Captain Aya laughed. "But it's nice, isn't it? The more the merrier."

"And more presents!" Mai chimed in.

That...that's true." The pile under the tree was huge already. They'd tried to control things by assigning people one other person to get gifts for, but even after he'd pulled Mai, Rai had gotten something for every other member of the SRX team, plus Leona and his brother. It didn't look like he was the only one with that idea either, not to mention how his brother had slipped him money to get a gift for Major Sanger since neither of them could leave the house themselves. By now the presents were a massive puddle spilling out around the tree, boxes piled on boxes and topped with bags. Rai had never seen anything like it. They'd only ever gotten one or two gifts before, every year. Now...

Footsteps banged and clattered, and suddenly Ryusei burst out from the doorway to the living room. "Rai! There you are! Come on, Ratsel wants someone to help in the kitchen and me and Russel are already being run to the bone! You gotta come help us out, man!"

"He does that, yes," Rai said without getting up. He'd had 17 years of being his brother's kitchen monkey and saw no need to continue the practice now. "Get Tasuku to help, maybe it'll distract him."

"I already _tried_ that, he won't move out from under the mistletoe. Says Leona has to go through there sometime and he'll be ready when she does. Come ooooooooon, all you have to do is carry things! And stir things, and get things out from the oven..." Ryusei grabbed Rai's arm and started physically dragging him upright. Or at least trying.

Rai resisted as best he could without spilling his wine all over the couch. "I know that's all, I grew up with him! That's why I'm not doing it anymore!"

"Perhaps Mai and I can help out instead, while Rai enjoys some peace and quiet," Captain Aya suggested, already getting to her feet. "I wouldn't be averse to a bit of Christmas baking."

Rai stopped, one arm above his head and back awkwardly twisted. Some tiny part of conscience, some leftover remnant of his father's voice, told him in no uncertain terms that his duty was to make sure Captain Aya and Mai had a lovely time. Running around a hot kitchen under his brother's orders wasn't a lovely time, and it was his duty as a host to take it on himself. (Ryusei and Russel didn't count, hell, Ryusei practically deserved it after the way he'd made the entire SRX team stay up late watching Christmas specials the other night) The host didn't get peace and quiet at the expense of his guests. It was duty.

_A Branstein does not shirk duty, Raidiese_ said the echo of his father.

_Shut up, you're dead_ didn't have quite the intended effect.

The vague guilt finished gnawing away at his resolve and he straightened up with a sour twist in his stomach. "No, no, I can handle it, Captain. He probably won't let you do any actual baking anyway. Just let me finish this." He swigged down the small amount of the mulled wine remaining in one go. It burned his tongue.

"You sure, Rai? It's not a bother," Captain Aya said, nothing but sweet concern in her eyes.

Rai gave her his best sharp smirk back. "I'll be fine, don't worry about it. Just sit here and enjoy your holiday."

"'bout time..." Ryusei muttered as they both headed for the kitchen. "My arms are about to fall right off."

"It won't get any better," Rai informed him with the finality of someone who knew well the horrors of the Branstein kitchen on Christmas.

It did smell wonderful, though. Cinnamon, sugar, chocolate and gingerbread all wafted through the air, filling most of of the first floor with lovely scents. It had smelled like this, Rai remembered with another stabbing pang of nostalgia, when he and Leona had fought over who got to decorate the most cookies, smearing frosting and sprinkles on with clumsy, childish hands and Elzam had watched them as if they were the only thing in the world to him. When he himself had been the only thing in the world to Rai. When his brother could do anything.

Rai shoved all that down with a shake of his head. A heart like ice, Elzam had told him. Well he could do _that_.

It was easier than thinking of how he'd screwed everything up.

"Until it blends, Russel. Keep stirring," Elzam said with just a glance at whatever Russel was stirring. From the way his face fell at the news, he'd been at it awhile. Elzam took no mind - of course - and moved on to do whatever he was doing with a bowl on the counter. The oven beeped. "Ah, the gingerbread cookies! Rai, get those out of the oven, would you? You know where the pot-holders are."

"All right." He liked gingerbread, after all, and it wasn't as if he needed a pot-holder. He just had to get the tray out of the oven left-handed. The cookies smelled delicious.

"...or you could do that." Was that a hint of something uncomfortable in his brother's voice? It gave Rai a curious mix of vicious triumph, after what had happened when they'd decorated the tree, and an odd sense of guilt.

_"And then these," Elzam said, laying down the tin of the most precious and fragile ornaments. The delicate glass globes all the way from Earth, passed down generation to generation from before Meteors 1 and 2 had fallen. The old wooden cut-out of an angel, held together with hot glue and prayers. And the small, cheap ornaments their parents had bought when they were just married, that were never meant to have lasted this long. Dad had always put them up personally, and it seemed almost blasphemous for Rai and Elzam to do it themselves. But it was even worse to leave them off. _

_"The Santa's broken!" Mai said as she looked at the little Santa fallen out of his rocketship. His arm had twisted in the fall, and now hung all askew. He was a sorry little thing, but he had always had a place of honour on the tree._

_"Don't worry, we can put him back." Rai knelt down on the other side of the tin and reached out for the broken ornament. "He does this nearly every year." _

_"Leave it to me, Raidiese! This requires a delicate touch." Elzam grinned like he was joking, and Rai couldn't speak for sharp ache in his left hand and the choking shame that went with it. _

_It would never be as good - steel and wires could never replace flesh - it would always be just slightly slower, just a bit less dexterous - he'd learned to compensate for it in a PT, after hours and days and weeks in the simulator, practising constantly to get back to where he had once been naturally - but still. But still. He didn't have to - not like that._

_"Right. Of course," he snapped out in reply. Somehow, his left hand had buried itself under his leg without his consent and Rai jerked it out more harshly than he needed to, but he had to show them he wasn't bothered. This wasn't a problem. He picked up one of the glass globes, carefully, right-handed, and went to put it on the tree._

_"Wait, Rai. I didn't...not like that. I just...forgot." His usually-eloquent brother seemed at loss for words. He trailed off, and when Rai refused to acknowledge him, let the awkward silence continue. _

_Eventually Ryusei or Tasuku cracked a joke and the holiday cheer returned, and in time the ache receded. But Rai could never just forget._

He laid the tray on the stovetop to cool, and looked over to see what Elzam was up to now. "Marzipan? Are you making marzipan cookies?"

"I recall you liking them," his brother said, low, then leaned back and raised his voice. "Ryusei! Set the oven to 175 and put in the pinwheels!"

Rai did like marzipan cookies, and pinwheels. It looked like Russel was making peppermint fudge too, another of his favourites. Gingerbread, marzipan cookies, pinwheels and peppermint fudge... Rai narrowed his eyes. "Aren't you going to make some jelly cookies? Leona likes those."

Elzam looked startled, with perhaps a flash of guilt, then his face smoothed out and when he spoke his voice was as unruffled as ever. "Perhaps a bit later. For right now, why don't you put the gingerbread on a plate and take it out to the others?"

"Roger," Rai said, and set about doing just that. He couldn't resist sneaking one, even if it burned his mouth. It was as delicious as expected. That probably counted as accepting his brother's apology.

The gingerbread was all transferred to the plate and the used tray tossed in the sink, where Ryusei was looking at the ever-increasing pile of dishes in obvious trepidation. Rai gave him a look of faint sympathy mixed with 'well, what did you expect'. They all knew who would end up on kitchen duty later. There wasn't any way of getting out of it, not after Rai'd had to dismiss the housekeeper for the year to keep him from seeing Elzam and Major Sanger.

Privately Rai fully intended on dragging Tasuku into it, mistletoe or no. It was about time he helped out. And speaking of...

"No no, that's how it works! When two people meet under the mistletoe, they have to kiss! It's tradition! It's law!"

"Any two people?" Captain Viletta raised an eyebrow.

"Sure, any two people! So as soon as my sweet Leona comes over..." Tasuku made an exaggerated pucker of his lips and some disgusting kissing noises. Leona just sat straight-backed in her chair and made absolutely no indication of moving.

And perhaps it was the wine finally taking effect, or perhaps it was the perverse desire to have something simple after having to deal with his brother, but Rai had a terrible, wonderful idea.

"_Any_ two people?" Rai stepped up right behind Tasuku, and right below the mistletoe.

"Yes, any two people, I just...said...ah. Um." The self-assured expression quickly slid off Tasuku's face to be replaced with the horror of someone who knows he's trapped.

Lieutenant Katina burst out in raucous laughter. "Hoist by his own petard! That's what you get!"

"Guys don't count!" He protested, backing away from Rai, who just stood there biting his mouth to keep the grin off his face.

"Tasuku..." Lieutenant Katina growled. "You said anyone, and you'd better have meant it! 100 lashes if you chicken out!"

"Agh!" Tasuku swung his head back and forth wildly, unable to chose between kissing Rai and Katina's wrath.

"A man keeps his promises, Tasuku," Leona said primly, but with barely restrained amusement. Rai gave her an extra grin when Tasuku had his head turned, and she smirked back. They might not be as close nowadays, but growing up they'd been inseparable. Some things you never forgot.

"Agggh! No choice! Here goes!" He rushed up and slammed his lips into Rai's cheek before backing away just as quickly. "Mission accomplished!" He skittered off to land on the chair next to Lieutenant Katina with a visible expression of relief. She punched him in the arm, but playfully. For Lieutenant Katina, at least.

Rai himself was busy trying to make sure all the pieces of gingerbread were still on the plate. Inside, he was feeling pretty self-satisfied himself. With any luck, that would take care of Tasuku until after Christmas, when they could finally take the mistletoe down.

"Comin' through, comin' through!" Ryusei trotted out of the kitchen with his own plate of goodies, and Rai stepped a bit to the side to let him pass. Ryusei paused for a bit to give him a small smile of his own and a whispered 'good thinking, Rai', which just puffed his chest up more.

It lasted until Tasuku spoke up again. "Oh, Rai." He pointed above their heads. "Mistletoe."

"Er."

"Eeeh? W-wait!"

"100 lashes! I'm not fucking around!"

"That's what you get, Raidiese."

"Dammit..."


End file.
